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What is it with today's parents?


07-21-2015, 04:11 AM #1
Briandao
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As usual, I can only refer to what I experience in Sweden since it's where I live.

I work at a school and have a lot of friends with kids, and I can't grasp the fashion of parenthood.

In Sweden we have what we call "curlingföräldrar". The word curling comes from the sport since parent's keep the path clean from obstacles and difficulties.

Today, a lot of parents go to extreme measures to keep their kids "happy".

You could say that the tables are turned where the parents are the one's trying to negotiate with their kids.

The kids go home and cry about something and the parent's believe every single word without trying to find out their own kids contribution to the whole mess, often with the result of parent's attacking the one's working at the school.

I'm not saying you shouldn't listen to your kids, you definitely should, but critical thinking is a good thing wherever you are in life.

This is something we talk a lot about at work, and I always ask one of my co-worker "How did we get to this point?".

When my father grew up (born in 1944), they got a smack in the face by their teachers for late arrivals. My mother (born in 1961) is french, so you can only imagine how it was growing up in France, not hitting your kids as a punishment was almost seen as "political incorrect", at least that's how I see it.

I believe that banning violence was the right thing to do and these are extreme examples. The problem is that we have gone to the other end of extremity where parents are supposed to be best friends with their kids and avoiding every possible conflict that could occur.

Some people refer this phenomenon to kids having the right to "express" and "fulfill" themselves, but when we have a couple of kids getting anesthetized to have their mouths and teeth fixed since their parents didn't brush their teeth (again, to avoid any kind of confrontation) for six years, that's not "fulfilling".

I know there are many good parents, and I sometimes hear from others that I'm a bit "strict", but I believe that kids need consistency, guidance and love.

If I get angry over something one day but don't care about the very same thing the next, then how are my kids NOT supposed to get confused?

One thing I also have a hard time to digest is when a parent says "no" for a while just to turn around, surrender and say "yes".

They f'ck it up both for themselves and for their kids. Once I say no, the no remains because if I show my kids that a no can be turned to a yes by nagging enough, then I'm up for some rough years...

What are your thoughts about this, and how is the public perception when it comes parents and parenthood where you live?

"I ain't 'tryina' preach, I believe I can reach but your mind ain't prepared, I see you when you get there" - Coolio
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07-21-2015, 04:34 AM #2
Emerald
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(07-21-2015, 04:11 AM)Briandao Wrote:  As usual, I can only refer to what I experience in Sweden since it's where I live.

I work at a school and have a lot of friends with kids, and I can't grasp the fashion of parenthood.

In Sweden we have what we call "curlingföräldrar". The word curling comes from the sport since parent's keep the path clean from obstacles and difficulties.

Today, a lot of parents go to extreme measures to keep their kids "happy".

You could say that the tables are turned where the parents are the one's trying to negotiate with their kids.

The kids go home and cry about something and the parent's believe every single word without trying to find out their own kids contribution to the whole mess, often with the result of parent's attacking the one's working at the school.

I'm not saying you shouldn't listen to your kids, you definitely should, but critical thinking is a good thing wherever you are in life.

This is something we talk a lot about at work, and I always ask one of my co-worker "How did we get to this point?".

When my father grew up (born in 1944), they got a smack in the face by their teachers for late arrivals. My mother (born in 1961) is french, so you can only imagine how it was growing up in France, not hitting your kids as a punishment was almost seen as "political incorrect", at least that's how I see it.

I believe that banning violence was the right thing to do and these are extreme examples. The problem is that we have gone to the other end of extremity where parents are supposed to be best friends with their kids and avoiding every possible conflict that could occur.

Some people refer this phenomenon to kids having the right to "express" and "fulfill" themselves, but when we have a couple of kids getting anesthetized to have their mouths and teeth fixed since their parents didn't brush their teeth (again, to avoid any kind of confrontation) for six years, that's not "fulfilling".

I know there are many good parents, and I sometimes hear from others that I'm a bit "strict", but I believe that kids need consistency, guidance and love.

If I get angry over something one day but don't care about the very same thing the next, then how are my kids NOT supposed to get confused?

One thing I also have a hard time to digest is when a parent says "no" for a while just to turn around, surrender and say "yes".

They f'ck it up both for themselves and for their kids. Once I say no, the no remains because if I show my kids that a no can be turned to a yes by nagging enough, then I'm up for some rough years...

What are your thoughts about this, and how is the public perception when it comes parents and parenthood where you live?

Its called again PC and... stupidity. And lets face a fundamental thing: not everyone is cut out to be a parent (husband, wife, but in this case parent). We lack reproduction laws, therefore all imbeciles have "the right" to breed. The result? Human society/quality is lowering dangerously until, probably, we will reach the stone age level again. Generations of morons will beget generations of morons. Suffering will never end. Hypocrisy rules. Yep, the "greatness" of human race.... Its all so simple to understand and do, but simple(st) things are the most difficult to do (when ure a baboon)....

People who surrender their former religious beliefs have got to be some of the smartest and bravest people in the world because they set out to find truth even while under the threat of "eternal damnations". George Carlin

07-21-2015, 04:39 AM #3
Briandao
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(07-21-2015, 04:34 AM)Emerald Wrote:  
(07-21-2015, 04:11 AM)Briandao Wrote:  As usual, I can only refer to what I experience in Sweden since it's where I live.

I work at a school and have a lot of friends with kids, and I can't grasp the fashion of parenthood.

In Sweden we have what we call "curlingföräldrar". The word curling comes from the sport since parent's keep the path clean from obstacles and difficulties.

Today, a lot of parents go to extreme measures to keep their kids "happy".

You could say that the tables are turned where the parents are the one's trying to negotiate with their kids.

The kids go home and cry about something and the parent's believe every single word without trying to find out their own kids contribution to the whole mess, often with the result of parent's attacking the one's working at the school.

I'm not saying you shouldn't listen to your kids, you definitely should, but critical thinking is a good thing wherever you are in life.

This is something we talk a lot about at work, and I always ask one of my co-worker "How did we get to this point?".

When my father grew up (born in 1944), they got a smack in the face by their teachers for late arrivals. My mother (born in 1961) is french, so you can only imagine how it was growing up in France, not hitting your kids as a punishment was almost seen as "political incorrect", at least that's how I see it.

I believe that banning violence was the right thing to do and these are extreme examples. The problem is that we have gone to the other end of extremity where parents are supposed to be best friends with their kids and avoiding every possible conflict that could occur.

Some people refer this phenomenon to kids having the right to "express" and "fulfill" themselves, but when we have a couple of kids getting anesthetized to have their mouths and teeth fixed since their parents didn't brush their teeth (again, to avoid any kind of confrontation) for six years, that's not "fulfilling".

I know there are many good parents, and I sometimes hear from others that I'm a bit "strict", but I believe that kids need consistency, guidance and love.

If I get angry over something one day but don't care about the very same thing the next, then how are my kids NOT supposed to get confused?

One thing I also have a hard time to digest is when a parent says "no" for a while just to turn around, surrender and say "yes".

They f'ck it up both for themselves and for their kids. Once I say no, the no remains because if I show my kids that a no can be turned to a yes by nagging enough, then I'm up for some rough years...

What are your thoughts about this, and how is the public perception when it comes parents and parenthood where you live?

Its called again PC and... stupidity. And lets face a fundamental thing: not everyone is cut out to be a parent (husband, wife, but in this case parent). We lack reproduction laws, therefore all imbeciles have "the right" to breed. The result? Human society/quality is lowering dangerously until, probably, we will reach the stone age level again. Generations of morons will beget generations of morons. Suffering will never end. Hypocrisy rules. Yep, the "greatness" of human race.... Its all so simple to understand and do, but simple(st) things are the most difficult to do (when ure a baboon)....


Problem is that with reproduction laws, as with most laws, it will be subject to corruption where it becomes another rich man's game.

A law like this one wouldn't secure that the right people get to have kids. But I understand what you're saying.
This post was last modified: 07-21-2015, 04:42 AM by Briandao.

"I ain't 'tryina' preach, I believe I can reach but your mind ain't prepared, I see you when you get there" - Coolio

07-21-2015, 04:50 AM #4
Emerald
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(07-21-2015, 04:39 AM)Briandao Wrote:  
(07-21-2015, 04:34 AM)Emerald Wrote:  
(07-21-2015, 04:11 AM)Briandao Wrote:  As usual, I can only refer to what I experience in Sweden since it's where I live.

I work at a school and have a lot of friends with kids, and I can't grasp the fashion of parenthood.

In Sweden we have what we call "curlingföräldrar". The word curling comes from the sport since parent's keep the path clean from obstacles and difficulties.

Today, a lot of parents go to extreme measures to keep their kids "happy".

You could say that the tables are turned where the parents are the one's trying to negotiate with their kids.

The kids go home and cry about something and the parent's believe every single word without trying to find out their own kids contribution to the whole mess, often with the result of parent's attacking the one's working at the school.

I'm not saying you shouldn't listen to your kids, you definitely should, but critical thinking is a good thing wherever you are in life.

This is something we talk a lot about at work, and I always ask one of my co-worker "How did we get to this point?".

When my father grew up (born in 1944), they got a smack in the face by their teachers for late arrivals. My mother (born in 1961) is french, so you can only imagine how it was growing up in France, not hitting your kids as a punishment was almost seen as "political incorrect", at least that's how I see it.

I believe that banning violence was the right thing to do and these are extreme examples. The problem is that we have gone to the other end of extremity where parents are supposed to be best friends with their kids and avoiding every possible conflict that could occur.

Some people refer this phenomenon to kids having the right to "express" and "fulfill" themselves, but when we have a couple of kids getting anesthetized to have their mouths and teeth fixed since their parents didn't brush their teeth (again, to avoid any kind of confrontation) for six years, that's not "fulfilling".

I know there are many good parents, and I sometimes hear from others that I'm a bit "strict", but I believe that kids need consistency, guidance and love.

If I get angry over something one day but don't care about the very same thing the next, then how are my kids NOT supposed to get confused?

One thing I also have a hard time to digest is when a parent says "no" for a while just to turn around, surrender and say "yes".

They f'ck it up both for themselves and for their kids. Once I say no, the no remains because if I show my kids that a no can be turned to a yes by nagging enough, then I'm up for some rough years...

What are your thoughts about this, and how is the public perception when it comes parents and parenthood where you live?

Its called again PC and... stupidity. And lets face a fundamental thing: not everyone is cut out to be a parent (husband, wife, but in this case parent). We lack reproduction laws, therefore all imbeciles have "the right" to breed. The result? Human society/quality is lowering dangerously until, probably, we will reach the stone age level again. Generations of morons will beget generations of morons. Suffering will never end. Hypocrisy rules. Yep, the "greatness" of human race.... Its all so simple to understand and do, but simple(st) things are the most difficult to do (when ure a baboon)....


Problem is that with reproduction laws, as with most laws, it will be subject to corruption where it becomes another rich man's game.

A law like this one wouldn't secure that the right people get to have kids. But I understand what you're saying.

Im speaking about a pretty reasonable society in which corruption has little place. A law like that would be great, of course. Various test should be done in order to see if individuals are capable of being parents. If they fail, goodbye. We are far too many, fucked up and useless on this planet, this is the truth, whether one likes or not. We are no blessing to this planet, on the contrary.

People who surrender their former religious beliefs have got to be some of the smartest and bravest people in the world because they set out to find truth even while under the threat of "eternal damnations". George Carlin

07-21-2015, 05:42 AM #5
Briandao
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Quote:Im speaking about a pretty reasonable society in which corruption has little place. A law like that would be great, of course. Various test should be done in order to see if individuals are capable of being parents. If they fail, goodbye. We are far too many, fucked up and useless on this planet, this is the truth, whether one likes or not. We are no blessing to this planet, on the contrary.

Corruption will never end I'm afraid.

And to have parents raising their kids to become smart, strong and independent, the elite must be eliminated and never be replaced. 

They definitely don't wish for smart, strong nor independent citizens.

"I ain't 'tryina' preach, I believe I can reach but your mind ain't prepared, I see you when you get there" - Coolio

07-21-2015, 08:47 AM #6
Kung Fu
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(07-21-2015, 04:34 AM)Emerald Wrote:  Its called again PC and... stupidity. And lets face a fundamental thing: not everyone is cut out to be a parent (husband, wife, but in this case parent). We lack reproduction laws, therefore all imbeciles have "the right" to breed. The result? Human society/quality is lowering dangerously until, probably, we will reach the stone age level again. Generations of morons will beget generations of morons. Suffering will never end. Hypocrisy rules. Yep, the "greatness" of human race.... Its all so simple to understand and do, but simple(st) things are the most difficult to do (when ure a baboon)....

I would say that we have more idiots now, even with all this supposed education, than we did say in 2000 BC. No matter how many reproduction laws you bring in, it won't change the way parents raise their children or stop them from having a child, which in itself can be seen as a form of eugenics.
This post was last modified: 07-21-2015, 09:25 AM by Kung Fu.

Prophet Muhammad (SallAllahu alaihi wasalam) said:

"My similitude and that of the life of this world is that of a traveler who took a rest at mid-day under a shade of a tree and then left it."       (Ahmad, at-Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah and al-Hakim)

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07-21-2015, 08:51 AM #7
Briandao
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(07-21-2015, 08:47 AM)Kung Fu Wrote:  
(07-21-2015, 04:34 AM)Emerald Wrote:  Its called again PC and... stupidity. And lets face a fundamental thing: not everyone is cut out to be a parent (husband, wife, but in this case parent). We lack reproduction laws, therefore all imbeciles have "the right" to breed. The result? Human society/quality is lowering dangerously until, probably, we will reach the stone age level again. Generations of morons will beget generations of morons. Suffering will never end. Hypocrisy rules. Yep, the "greatness" of human race.... Its all so simple to understand and do, but simple(st) things are the most difficult to do (when ure a baboon)....

I would say that we have more idiots now, even with all this supposed education, than we did say in 2000 BC. No matter how many reproduction laws you bring in, it won't change the way parents raise their children or stopping them from having a child, which in itself can be seen as a form of eugenics.

I don't know how and when this kind of "parenting" first saw the lights of day. 

It's funny, because when I speak to people in their 50's, they say like "it's the 80's kids and their way of life that results in this", when in most cases I've experienced, the worst parents in this way are born in the 60's and 70's.

"I ain't 'tryina' preach, I believe I can reach but your mind ain't prepared, I see you when you get there" - Coolio
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07-21-2015, 09:29 AM #8
Kung Fu
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(07-21-2015, 08:51 AM)Briandao Wrote:  I don't know how and when this kind of "parenting" first saw the lights of day. 

It's funny, because when I speak to people in their 50's, they say like "it's the 80's kids and their way of life that results in this", when in most cases I've experienced, the worst parents in this way are born in the 60's and 70's.

Well the very same system that's turning the kids of today into idiots is the very same system that the parents of these children were raised in. So you can't really expect much from parents that are no different than there children. Some parents learn and break away from all the state brainwashing and have wonderful kids but the majority remain brainwashed and "asleep" which in turn only begets brainwashed and "asleep" offspring.

Prophet Muhammad (SallAllahu alaihi wasalam) said:

"My similitude and that of the life of this world is that of a traveler who took a rest at mid-day under a shade of a tree and then left it."       (Ahmad, at-Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah and al-Hakim)


Abracadabra Show this Post
07-21-2015, 11:48 AM #9
Abracadabra Unregistered
 
Today's system of turning kids into non-thinking beings are more markedly then say 15-20 years ago.
With the internet opening up to soo many choices, which if you are not careful get both parents and children of today into deep confusion and distraction since you are bombarded with information 24/7 if you wish(and I think many allow this to happen automatically).

The consumerism of today also contributes. You can get almost anything anytime by the click of a finger and to an often ridiculous low price. I think this leads to restlessness and ungratefulness in young people.
It also leads to lack of imagination.

When the kid is crying for something it's an easy "fix" today. Many parents buying there children so to speak, which leads to more separation between them because it's the way many kids are brought up and they take this way for granted.

When I grew up (born in early 80's) we had two channels on the TV, and half an hour per day of children's TV!
And if I really wanted something I most often had to work for it or save money to get it.

I'm not saying that the parenthood was better in earlier decades, just that it's much harder to get yourself on a path of good moral parenthood these days because of the many pitfalls on the way.
I think it could actually be easier today in that sense if you have a plan and utilize the good information available. Although I think very few do that.

Curling is the easy way (in short term) to raise a child today. Keep the kids quiet and in the mean time you can brag about your happy family on FB an Insta...
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07-21-2015, 12:28 PM #10
Briandao
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(07-21-2015, 11:48 AM)Abracadabra Wrote:  Today's system of turning kids into non-thinking beings are more markedly then say 15-20 years ago.
With the internet opening up to soo many choices, which if you are not careful get both parents and children of today into deep confusion and distraction since you are bombarded with information 24/7 if you wish(and I think many allow this to happen automatically).

The consumerism of today also contributes. You can get almost anything anytime by the click of a finger and to an often ridiculous low price. I think this leads to restlessness and ungratefulness in young people.
It also leads to lack of imagination.

When the kid is crying for something it's an easy "fix" today. Many parents buying there children so to speak, which leads to more separation between them because it's the way many kids are brought up and they take this way for granted.

When I grew up (born in early 80's) we had two channels on the TV, and half an hour per day of children's TV!
And if I really wanted something I most often had to work for it or save money to get it.

I'm not saying that the parenthood was better in earlier decades, just that it's much harder to get yourself on a path of good moral parenthood these days because of the many pitfalls on the way.
I think it could actually be easier today in that sense if you have a plan and utilize the good information available. Although I think very few do that.

Curling is the easy way (in short term) to raise a child today. Keep the kids quiet and in the mean time you can brag about your happy family on FB an Insta...

If you want truth, don't go any further. You really nailed it, and since we live in the same country, I guess we can relate to it, even though this isn't exclusively a Swedish phenomenon. 
This post was last modified: 07-21-2015, 04:43 PM by Briandao.

"I ain't 'tryina' preach, I believe I can reach but your mind ain't prepared, I see you when you get there" - Coolio