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09-30-2015, 09:38 AM #1
jessie
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I don't want to be mean or anything, but I'm baffled at how extremely hyper-sensitive americans ( not all) are and how they label almost everything as offensive or abusive. I hope my point wont be misunderstood and hopefully I wont be scolded for this. Americans ( generally speaking) are very sensitive and overly psychological . You can't joke with them for anything it seems. They are so obsessed with political correctness and with being perfect etc. I see comments like ''he is an abusive father or an abusive mother''. Reason? Only because they slapped their kid for not being obedient. As a kid, I was very rebellous. Many kids where I live are this way(hyper-active). I used to lie my parents and do many mistakes for which I blamed the others. Also, I didnt listen to my parents. Because of these, they sometime hit me. Yes, they HIT me and slapped me several times. They had no time to sit down and play Freud with me. They had no time to play psychological tricks. Life was too stressing for them, and it still is. They had to bust their asses and struggle to make a living for their children. Does the fact that they hit me, mean that they were abusive and that they didn't love me? If they didnt love me, they wouldn't be there for me; they wouldn't raise me and take care for me, they wouldn't feed me and make sacrifices for my education. When they hit me, I didnt feel scared, but it hurted me. Not in the way you think. It hurted me because I realized how much I had upseted them. And I didnt want to upset them, so I began to correct my behaviour. Many parents where I come from hit their children when they make mistakes. They don't do it because they are abusive or because they dont love their children. It works better than locking your children at home and hoping they will get a lesson from that lol. As if they cant sneak out of the house and later act as if they understood the mistake. Its pathetic to see some american parents struggling to be creative in finding ways how to punish their children or teach them a lesson. How about the good old fashioned methods? Before children were well mannered. They respected their parents, the elders, their teachers. Now they dont respect anybody. They treat their parents as if they are waiters who should be there only to take their requests and have it done for them. Now children order parents and parents obey to them. Parents are too scared to discipline their children, otherwise their children will call National Security, FBI, CIA etc and accuse their parents for abuse. What if parents are too stressed after a hard day of work and have no time to work psychological tricks for their spoiled brats? What if they hit these spolied brats just to shut them? I mean, sometime they dont leave you other way but it. You have tried all and they still refuse to listen to their parents. They want their parents to take care of them, to feed them to give money to them, but they dont want to listen to their parents. They treat parents like servants. Dear americans, just because someone hits his child, doesnt mean that he doesnt love him/her. Dont be so sensitive, and stop seeing life black and white. Existence is not so simple. Nobody can be cool and smiley all the freaking time. Parents are humans too. Sometime they just have their bad moments, and children must be comprehensible with their parents, instead of expecting parents to be cool with them all the time.  

ps. how can I delete this thread later? I foresee a war comming and lots of labels. Thank you.
This post was last modified: 09-30-2015, 10:38 AM by jessie.


  1. ''The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.'' ~ Albert Einstein
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09-30-2015, 09:42 AM #2
meltbanana
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only losers hit their children.
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09-30-2015, 09:46 AM #3
jessie
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(09-30-2015, 09:42 AM)meltbanana Wrote:  only losers hit their children.

My parents were NOT losers. They just didnt have time for bullshit. They had no time for bullshit, because they worked 17 hours per day, EVERYDAY. They didnt live in West where life is fancy, but in east where you have to struggle EVERYDAY to earn all the things that you westerners take for granted. You have no idea how difficult life was for them.
This post was last modified: 09-30-2015, 09:46 AM by jessie.


  1. ''The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.'' ~ Albert Einstein
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09-30-2015, 09:46 AM #4
justjess
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1) if you are going to start an anti American thread it is only fair to let us know what your own nationality and cultural background are

2) is this seriously a thread advocating child abuse?

3) are all children "spoiled brats" in your opinion because you sure as hell use the term interchangeably with "children" quite frequently
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09-30-2015, 09:55 AM #5
jessie
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(09-30-2015, 09:46 AM)justjess Wrote:  1) if you are going to start an anti American thread it is only fair to let us know what your own nationality and cultural background are

2) is this seriously a thread advocating child abuse?

3) are all children "spoiled brats" in your opinion because you sure as hell use the term interchangeably with "children" quite frequently

My thread is NOT anti-american. Just because I criticize you americans about something, doesnt mean that Im anti-american or anything. Labelling a critic as attack is nothing but a lame attepmt to prevent something from being criticized. I am NOT advocating children abuse. When parents hit a disobedient child in order to discipline him/her, is NOT abuse. I dont have anything against children. I am against the utlra-psychological tricks that parents in USA have to use just to discipline their spoiled wimps who treat parents like servants. I am from Eastern Europe, from those areas where parents have to struggle in order to ensure for their family everything that you westerners take for granted. Therefore, parents over here have no time for drama. I am just sick how you guys are labelling every single thing as abuse or as offensive. You have to realize that people sometime are stressed. They cant be cool and happy all the time.
This post was last modified: 09-30-2015, 09:58 AM by jessie.


  1. ''The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.'' ~ Albert Einstein
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09-30-2015, 09:58 AM #6
Robert Baird
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Dear Jessie

Yes, Americans have a far better life than most of the rest of the world - there are many reasons why that is true in a general sense despite there being higher standards of living and many places where the average person is far better off.

Children have a need for attention and they have always learned how to get what they want -very early. That is why the emotional blackmail and lies you say you used against your parents made life harder for them - shame on WHO. In the ancient extended family or still amongst the Cree and NA indian you had uncles and aunts doing the disciplining for this reason.

There is almost nothing done to teach parenting styles and methods as well as how to build a partnership and Joy of Learning in families. But corporal punishment does not help build the kind of character and independance which people need to be capable of real success including how to parent their future children. My father hit me one time - and he cried! It affected me enough that I did not want to hurt him that way anymore.
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09-30-2015, 10:01 AM #7
meltbanana
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watch out everybody, we've got an insane one here. I have already been PMd by this person.
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09-30-2015, 10:03 AM #8
justjess
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1) every single thing you typed seems like u have a problem with westerners and Americans specifically. If it is a critique it is still only fair to tell us your own background so we have a handle on where u may be coming from

2) hitting children is not illegal and is not necessarily abuse however u will need to be a lot more specific about what u mean by abuse and I'd love if you'd expand on these psychological games you think we play since I legitimately have no clue what u are talking about - talking to a child, punishing a child, etc are not psychological games. They are tried and true parenting techniques that don't take up much more time than hitting a child does

3) have you read any of the comprehensive studies showing what physical discipline does to a child's brain and how it effects their development?

4) you really went to the wrong place with this thread.. I am professionally at least before I quit a family specialist and child abuse specialist and spent my whole career working with child abuse and neglect. You might want to really research what you say before proceeding
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09-30-2015, 10:08 AM #9
meltbanana
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(09-30-2015, 09:46 AM)jessie Wrote:  
(09-30-2015, 09:42 AM)meltbanana Wrote:  only losers hit their children.

My parents were NOT losers. They just didnt have time for bullshit. They had no time for bullshit, because they worked 17 hours per day, EVERYDAY. They didnt live in West where life is fancy, but in east where you have to struggle EVERYDAY to earn all the things that you westerners take for granted. You have no idea how difficult life was for them.

how could you know which ideas I've got of whatever? do you happen to own a biography of myself?

09-30-2015, 10:08 AM #10
jessie
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(09-30-2015, 09:58 AM)Robert Baird Wrote:  Dear Jessie

Yes, Americans have a far better life than most of the rest of the world - there are many reasons why that is true in a general sense despite there being higher standards of living and many places where the average person is far better off.

Children have a need for attention and they have always learned how to get what they want -very early. That is why the emotional blackmail and lies you say you used against your parents made life harder for them - shame on WHO. In the ancient extended family or still amongst the Cree and NA indian you had uncles and aunts doing the disciplining for this reason.

There is almost nothing done to teach parenting styles and methods as well as how to build a partnership and Joy of Learning in families. But corporal punishment does not help build the kind of character and independance which people need to be capable of real success including how to parent their future children. My father hit me one time - and he cried! It affected me enough that I did not want to hurt him that way anymore.

Thanks for your sincerity Robert, and thank you for not labelling me. I only started this thread because Im sick of seeing ''abusive'' and ''offensive'' almost everywhere, almost all the time. My parents love me dearly. Its very complicated for you in west to understand the relationship between parents and children in poor countries. Its a very passionate relationship. When children do mistakes, parents sometime hit them, but the relationship between them is strong, passionate, warmer and more real than in west. My parents have made many sacrifices to raise me. The last one was to sell their house to pay for my education. They sold the house for which they have been struggling all their life to buy it, so they could pay for my education. And now they have to be labeled as abusive, only because they hit me when I didnt listen to them?? After all they have done for me??? After all their sacrifices?  They hit me for my own good, not because they didn't love me. That was their way of disciplining their child. And no Robert, they have no reason to be ashamed. They did nothing wrong. They raised their 9 children with sacrifices and with HONEST work.


  1. ''The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.'' ~ Albert Einstein
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